:Mistakes Happen:
Mistakes Happen -
In Fashion, In Life
The two questions I always ask myself when I make a mistake is, “What could you have done differently? What did you learn?” There are always additional questions, depending on the situation. (How soon can you fix your mistake? What will it cost? Is it worth it?) But if I cannot zero in on answers for the first two, then the mistake was truly a worthless tragedy that stole a sliver of my life with no tangible benefit. We don’t like worthless tragedies.
I used to be super adventurous with my clothes. Bold colors. Endless pattern mixing. Strange cuts that were more indicative of the price point than the fashion itself. But then I got a job in a conservative industry, trying to be a new manager. (I’ve told this story before…) With so much going on, I felt the need to simplify as much as I could control. My friend Christina (Style by Christina) talks a lot about how our emotions, politics, history, and self-care are brought to bear through our clothes. For me, my environment had changed, my responsibilities had become more complex and my old way of dressing no longer suited my life at that moment. I needed to simplify.
When my situation changed again to a more liberal work environment, I found that I really loved the simpler approach I had begun perfecting. I look back on the offbeat things I wore - the things I LOVED to wear - and I consider many of them mistakes. But I had to make them in order to get here. And I really like here. Some mistakes may have a little or a lot of shame wrapped up inside of them. But in the end, it’s what you do with the information you have gathered from your mistake that matters more than anything.
What could you have done differently?
What did you learn?
As it turns out, the answers to these two questions in this particular instance are somewhat intertwined. I could have slowed down my consumption and been more thoughtful about what I was purchasing and why. I could have spent more on fewer things that were timeless. These things could have been done differently, and so I have applied those lessons to my buying habits today.
But digging deeper, I learned that I was hiding my insecurities behind big colors and patterns. I was distracting myself from how I really felt about my appearance. And I’ve learned to notice sooner how my sartorial choices may be flagging something else going on in my life that needs attention and care. I’ve learned that I have a deep love and respect for fashion that spans across an array of styles. And I’ve learned to check that love when I’m about to purchase something that looks amazing on someone else, but that I know I will hate on myself (hi, sneakers with suits). It’s all remembering the lesson moving forward.
This post was triggered by a mistake CJ and I made last week. I don’t want to get into all of the details but the long and the short of it is that after months and months of research, we adopted what we thought would be the perfect dog for our family. It took us less than 24 hours, my forearms covered in bruises and a bite on my back to acknowledge that we had made a mistake. If you know me, you can be assured that I would NEVER bring a dog into my home without the full commitment to being his forever family. And I’ve been through some serious shit with my other rescues.
But… it was impossible to ignore our mistake. CJ and I spent hours discussing what we could have done differently and what we learned. It was an important lesson for us both and something we were completely honest with Stella about. Moms and Dads make mistakes. What’s important is acknowledging that mistake and doing whatever you can to remedy it. While his original family would not accept him back, I am happy to share we were able to quickly get the pup to a great facility. They are working with him so that he can become the good boy we know he is for another deserving family. For us, we’re going to process this and take our time stepping back into the search. I just want to say thank you to everyone who reached out to celebrate our adoption and to those of you who knew about the turn of events and offered support. xo
Blazer old River Island (similar) | Turtleneck Ganni | Shorts AYR | Boots Dr. Marten’s | Sunglasses Quay | Hat Janessa Leone | Bag Staud | Necklace No longer available on Etsy (similar)
