Let's Celebrate Average
Being comfortable with an ordinary life
Our lives have gone global. The world literally sits in the palms of our hands. We seem to have been tricked into thinking that the only way to have an enviable life is to have a life viewed by The Most people. To be extraordinary. Above average.
Lately I have found myself wondering what it would be like to live a life on full display to hundreds of thousands or even millions of people. There are obvious benefits to renown, right? Usually that sort of popularity translates into access to lots of things - money, opportunity, power, recognition. Your voice is amplified. Your opinions ripple through more lives. That can be really potent and alluring.
The flip side of that exposure is a near constant scrutiny. With so many eyes on you, the margin for error becomes razor thin. Every single choice you publish to the world is unscrupulously examined with fine instruments. Your history before you were so recognizable is resurrected from the graveyard of adolescent mistakes to cloak you in a hideous shame robe. You no longer reserve the right to evolve, to improve, to shed old ideas or perspectives. You’re locked in. Otherwise you’re unreliable. You can’t be believed. You’re a flip flopper who kowtows to the audience in front of you in the moment.
There was a time in my life many moons ago when the idea of being “famous” felt so attractive. How could I be Jennifer Aniston or Sarah Michelle Gellar or Kirsten Dunst? (Fun Fact: KD was my doppleganger when we were younger. Not the point though.) My quivering, young mind thought that the only way to have a life worth living was to live a life that had a chance of being remembered forever. To be extraordinary. Above average. If I’m not syndicated (or reposted or featured or swiped up), was I ever really alive at all?
Those feelings are rooted in fear. Fear of being a failure. Fear of death. Fear of inadequacy. Fear of being forgotten. Fear of being… average. Let me be clear, I am still a work in progress TO BE SURE. I tumble into the same traps to which many of us are susceptible, both IRL and online. However, when I started embracing those emotions as normal, my fear started to dissipate and made room for a much deeper appreciation for who I am, what I have achieved and the completely average life I have built.
There are long stretches of time when I don’t really have much to share here because my things can be so routine. I got up and got ready and drove Stella to school and worked an eight-hour day and drove back to school to pick up my kid and dropped her at an activity and hurriedly cooked dinner and went to yoga and came home and hung out with my husband and went to bed at a reasonable hour. JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. Most days I don’t have anything new to share like some sudden insight or a new outfit or a Top Three Ways to Hack Your Life list. I’m just living my life with as much focus and drive and love and growth as I possibly can, hoping that maybe at some point along the way I had a positive impact on somebody. Anybody. Including myself.
I’ve begun to think of my legacy less like a meteoric punch to humanity and more like a leaf drifting to the forest floor. My hope is that, as the memory of my life decays, my tiny contribution helps to feed other people. I no longer need to be remembered by name. My memory will manifest through a healthier approach to the world or a kinder word or an ease with forgiveness. If living a typical life can be supremely fulfilling while I’m in it AND accomplish any of those things after, then being average is more than enough for me.
